The Gnat
amused itself meanwhile by humming round and round her head: at last it
settled again and remarked, - I suppose you don't want to lose your name?
- No, indeed, - Alice said, a little anxiously.
- And yet I don't know, - the Gnat went on in a careless tone: - only
think how convenient it would be if you could manage to go home without
it! For instance, if the governess wanted to call you to your lessons, she
would call out "come here - ," and there she would have to leave off,
because there wouldn't be any name for her to all, and of course you
wouldn't have to go, you know.
- That would never do, I'm sure, - said Alice: - the governess would
never think of excusing me lessons for that. If she couldn't remember my
name, she'd call me "Miss!" as the servants do.
- Well. if she said "Miss," and didn't say anything more, - the Gnat
remarked, - of course you'd miss your lessons. That's a joke. I wish YOU
had made it.
- Why do you wish _I_ had made it? - Alice asked. - It's a very bad
one.
But the Gnat only sighed deeply, while two large tears came rolling
down its cheeks.
- You shouldn't make jokes, - Alice said, - if it makes you so
unhappy.
Then came another of those melancholy little sighs, and this time the
poor Gnat really seemed to have sighed itself away, for, when Alice looked
up, there was nothing whatever to be seen on the twig, and, as she was
getting quite chilly with sitting still so, long she got up and walked on.
She very soon came to an open field, with a wood on the other side of
it: it looked much darker than the last wood, and Alice felt a LITTLE
timid about going into it. However, on second thoughts, she made up her
mind to go on: - for I certainly won't go BACK, - she thought to herself,
and this was the only way to the Eighth Square.
- This must be the wood, she said thoughtfully to herself, - where
things have no names. I wonder what'll become of MY name when I go in? I
shouldn't like to lose it at all - because they'd have to give me another,
and it would be almost certain to be an ugly one. But then the fun would
be, trying to find the creature that had got my old name! That's just like
the advertisements, you know, when people lose dogs - "ANSWERS TO THE NAME
OF - DASH: - HAD ON A BRASS COLLAR" - just fancy calling everything you
met "Alice," till one of them answered! Only they wouldn't answer at all,
if they were wise.
She was rambling on in this way when she reached the wood: it looked
very cool and shady. - Well, at any rate it's a great comfort, she said as
she stepped under the trees, - after being so hot, to get into the - into
WHAT? - she went on, rather surprised at not being able to think of the
word. - I mean to get under the - under the under THIS, you know! -
putting her hand on the trunk of the tree.
- What DOES it call itself, I wonder? I do believe it's got no name
why, to be sure it hasn't!
She stood silent for a minute, thinking: then she suddenly began
again. - Then it really HAS happened, after all! And how, who am I? I WILL
remember, if I can! I'm determined to do it! - But being determined didn't
help much, and all she could say, after a great deal of puzzling, was, -
L, I KNOW it begins with L!
Just then a Fawn came wandering by: it looked at Alice with its large
gentle eyes, but didn't seem at all frightened. - Here then! Here then! -
Alice said, as he held out her hand and tried to stroke it; but it only
started back a little, and then stood looking at her again.
- What do you call yourself? - the Fawn said at last. Such a soft
sweet voice it had!
- I wish I knew! - thought poor Alice. She answered, rather sadly, -
Nothing, just now.
- Think again, - it said: - that won't do. Alice thought, but nothing
came of it. - Please, would you tell me
what YOU call yourself? - she said timidly. - I think that might help a
little.
- I'll tell you, of you'll move a little further on, - the Fawn said.
- I can't remember here.
So they walked on together though the wood, Alice with her arms
clasped lovingly round the soft neck of the Fawn, till they came out into
another open field, and here the Fawn gave a sudden bound into the air,
and shook itself free from Alice's arms. - I'm a Fawn! - it cried out in a
voice of delight, - and, dear me! you're a human child! - A sudden look of
alarm came into its beautiful brown eyes, and in another moment it had
darted away a full speed.
Alice stood looking after it, almost ready to cry with vexation at
having lost her dear little fellow-traveller so suddenly. - However, I
know my name now. - she said, - that's SOME comfort. Alice - Alice I won't
forget it again. And now, which of these finger-posts ought I to follow, I
wonder?
It was not a very difficult question to answer, as there was only one
road through the wood, and the two finger-posts both pointed along it. -
I'll settle it, - Alice said to herself, - when the road divides and they
point different ways.
But this did not seem likely to happen. She went on and on, a long
way, but wherever the road divided there were sure to be two finger-posts
pointing the same way, one marked - TO TWEEDLEDUM'S HOUSE - and the other
- TO THE HOUSE OF TWEEDLEDEE.
- I do believe, - said Alice at last, - that they live in the same
house! I wonder I never thought of that before - But I can't stay there
long. I'll just call and say "how d'you do?" and ask them the way out of
the wood. If I could only get the Eighth Square before it gets dark! - So
she wandered on, talking to herself as she went, till, on turning a sharp
corner, she came upon two fat little men, so suddenly that she could not
help starting back, but in another moment she recovered herself, feeling
sure that they must be




CHAPTER IV

TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE


They were standing under a tree, each with an arm round the other's
neck, and Alice knew which was which in a moment, because one of them had
- DUM - embroidered on his collar, and the other - DEE. - I suppose
they've each got "TWEEDLE" round at the back of the collar, - she said to
herself.
They stood so still that she quite forgot they were alive, and she
was just looking round to see if the word "TWEEDLE" was written at the
back of each collar, when she was startled by a voice coming from the one
marked - DUM.
- If you think we're wax-works, - he said, - you ought to pay, you
know. Wax-works weren't made to be looked at for nothing, Nohow!
- Contrariwise, - added the one marked - DEE, - if you think we're
alive, you ought to speak.
- I'm sure I'm very sorry, - was all Alice could say; for the words
of the old song kept ringing through her head like the ticking of a clock,
and she could hardly help saying them out loud:

- Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Agreed to have a battle;
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
Had spoiled his nice new rattle.

Just then flew down a monstrous crow,
As black as a tar-barrel;
Which frightened both the heroes so,
They quite forgot their quarrel.

- I know what you're thinking about, - said Tweedledum: - but it
isn't so, nohow.
- Contrariwise, - continued Tweedledee, - if it was so, it might be;
and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.
- I was thinking, - Alice said very politely, - which is the best way
out of this wood: it's getting so dark. Would you tell me, please?
But the little men only looked at each other and grinned.
They looked so exactly like a couple of great schoolboys, that Alice
couldn't help pointing her finger at Tweedledum, and saying - First Boy!
- Nohow! - Tweedledum cried out briskly, and shut his mouth up again
with a snap.
- Next Boy! - said Alice, passing on to Tweedledee, though she felt
quite certain he would only shout out "Contrariwise! - and so he did.
- You've been wrong! - cried Tweedledum. - The first thing in a visit
is to say "How d'ye do?" and shake hands! - And here the two brothers gave
each other a hug, and then they held out the two hands that were free, to
shake hands with her.
Alice did not like shaking hands with either of them first, for fear
of hurting the other one's feelings; so, as the best way out of the
difficulty, she took hold of both hands at once: the next moment they were
dancing found in a ring. This seemed quite natural (she remembered
afterwards), and she was not even surprised to hear music playing: it
seemed to come from the tree under which they were dancing, and it was
done (as well as she could make it out) by the branches rubbing one across
the other, like fiddles and fiddle-sticks.
- But it certainly WAS funny, - (Alice said afterwards, when she was
telling her sister the history of all this,) - to find myself singing
"HERE WE GO ROUND THE MULBERRY BUSH." I don't know when I began it, but
somehow I felt as if I'd been singing it a long long time!
The other two dancers were fat, and very soon out of breath. - Four
times round is enough for one dance, - Tweedledum panted out, and they
left off dancing as suddenly as they had begun: the music stopped at the
same moment.
Then they let go of Alice's hands, and stood looking at her for a
minute: there was a rather awkward pause, as Alice didn't know how to
begin a conversation with people she had just been dancing with. - It
would never do to say "How d'ye do?" NOW, - she said to herself: - we seem
to have got beyond that, somehow!
- I hope you're not much tired? - she said at last.
- Nohow. And thank you VERY much for asking, - said Tweedledum.
- So much obliged! - added Tweedledee. - You like poetry?
- Ye-es. pretty well - SOME poetry, - Alice said doubtfully. - Would
you tell me which road leads out of the wood?
- What shall I repeat to her? - said Tweedledee, looking round at
Tweedledum with great solemn eyes, and not noticing Alice's question.
- "THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER" is the longest, - Tweedledum
replied, giving his brother an affectionate hug.
Tweedledee began instantly:

- The sun was shining

Here Alice ventured to interrupt him. - If it's VERY long, - she
said, as politely as she could, - would you please tell me first which
road
Tweedledee smiled gently, and began again:

- The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.

The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done
"It's very rude of him," she said,
"To come and spoil the fun!
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16